Can’t Keep It In

My Dear Sir,

I remember when this idea to write letters to you started as a spark in my mind. I wasn’t sure what route the idea would take, and here we are.

As freely admitted (and expressly stated by you here), I didn’t think I would share my letters with you until after some time had passed, yet after only penning a few I had to share and tell you what I was doing, because it felt natural.

When it was mutually decided that we’d share our feelings publicly and anonymously, I hesitated briefly. I wasn’t sure I was ready to have prying eyes privy to my deepest, personal thoughts and expose myself to censure. Anonymity added a layer of protection, yes, but my feelings were and are very raw and real.

You were so humbled at the design and start of this venture. You asked for the right of reply to my letters. I agreed. This story has been unfolding before our very eyes and even we’ve been astonished at its seemingly independent path. It has a mind of its own and I would not presume to restrain it. It’s akin to trying to hold back the ocean. That being said, there is no one else I trust to go on this journey with than you. You are, after all, Sir. That speaks volumes.

I am currently playing this song by Cat Stevens over and over, because it strikes a chord in my heart. He says it so perfectly – I can’t keep it in, and I don’t have to.

Yours completely,

Darling

————————————————————————————

Dearest Darling

You are right I was incredibly humbled by your desire to share publically your feelings for me. I knew that there would be many bitter memories mixed in with the sweet. However I am completionist by nature. When I see a film I always watch the credits until the end. I always watch the entire TV series, in broadcast order including the specials, or not watch it at all. For our story, while we have thrown out the chronology, I think it needs to be told in all it’s awful glory, the good bits along with the bad. So when you presented me with this blog I thought that there was another side of the story that could be told.

At the risk of sounding conceited, and with due deference to Stephenie Meyer, I compared our story to her first Twilight novel. The published version being the story from the perspective of Bella, the unpublished and unfinished story being told from the perspective of Edward (I mentioned conceited didn’t I?).

So here we are. The story is unfolding. It has become a runaway train. I don’t think it will derail but I’m damn sure it shows no sign of stopping, and I have no idea which route it is going to take. So my Darling we have our golden tickets to the story of our love. I shake myself occasionally and wonder how we ended up here. Then I smile, think of you, and it just makes sense.

Cat Stevens, well as always your choice of music is excellent. I have not listened to much of him since he became Yusuf Islam but he has a most appropriate song for you, for us really. Two tracks along from your choice on his “The Very Best of” compilation is none other than “Hard Headed Woman”. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to stop myself smiling. I love you my Darling but this song is most definitely for you.

Quaveringly

From Sir With Love

©2013 Darling and Sir

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3 comments on “Can’t Keep It In

  1. Dear Ms.Darling and Sir,
    Well, I for one am glad that you did decide to share it with the world. It makes people like me believe in true love that stands the test of time, distance and other factors. You two are testimony to the fact that true love will weather anything.

    Loved your post as always.

    BP

    • BP,
      I love Sir unconditionally.
      That being said sometimes during a conversation with Sir, I feel conflicting emotions due to past hurt. It’s not something I choose to dwell on, so I deal with it and move on. Sir has graciously weathered the storms with me. We are beyond the superficial relationships. It’s a very mature and deep level and one we’re both comfortable going through. It feels fantastic.

      Love,
      ~ Darling

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