My Dear Sir,
The occasion I am going to talk about in this letter I believe happened the first full day I was with you. We were in your living room taking it easy as I adjusted to the new time zone, and I picked up a photograph album. I casually flipped through the pages. I was asking you who people were in the pictures. I wanted to share your life with you, and that included your friends. You closed your eyes, inhaled deeply, muttered something under your breath (quick prayer maybe?), came over and sat next to me, and said, “Let’s just get this over with.”
I am giggling now, because that was so you. You knew that in a few pictures – many of those pictures there were women you’d been with sexually and you wanted to face it head on. So in grand Sir-style you decided to hold my hand and temper the storms while you confessed your past. You were going to preempt any questions I may or may not have asked. I assure you Sir, I would never! (Still giggling here)
I can see you in my mind’s eye physically cringe when you affirmed with a “Yep.” You watched my face ever so carefully while the grand total kept climbing. You appeared chagrin and somewhat repentant and even a tad bit defensive. You wanted no secrets between us, no skeletons to creep out of the closet, and to remove all doubt in my mind how you felt about me. You had forsaken all for me. You were willing to sit there and face potential censure; I loved you for it.
In some ways we were very much similar (still are), and in other ways we were as different as night and day. I loved you then and I love you now for all your faults. I love your intelligence and higher level of thinking. I am amazed at all your strengths. Your talents fill me with pride. Your tenderness and love leave me weak and breathless and, as you well know – stuttering-ly stupid (inside joke).
I accept everything about you. I love all the torn and tarnished pieces that make up you. There is only one Sir. Only one.
With all humility,
My Humble Darling
What on earth do I say to such a post? Yes I had some ex girlfriends. Yes I had a pictorial record of some of them. I was then now, and am to this day, in contact with some of them. Purely platonically I might add.
The one thing I am mighty sure of was that I did not do this to preempt any questions you might have. You had already asked all the questions! I had answered them truthfully. You tell this tale like you were some innocent who never knew I had such a colourful past. If I didn’t know better my love I would swear you were trying to manipulate the truth for your own ends (smiles). It reminds me of behaviour I would expect from a certain English acquaintance of yours.
Oh I know this would have been quite the visual reinforcement for you. To see them there staring back at you from the page would not be easy, just as it was not easy for me to show you. I did want then, as I still want now, to be completely honest with you. I know that brings some pain in the short term but it’s much healthier than finding out something you weren’t expecting later.
I am humbled that you can look beyond my chequered past. We are the same in many ways but as we both know there are some quite glaring fundamental differences in our make up. I have never doubted, before or since, that you were prepared to accommodate them and so was I.
I love you now and I loved you then my Darling, even if I am a rogue.
You Will Always Be Me Darling
From A Roguish Sir With Love
My Dear Reformed Sir,
I am sure I can’t even begin to presume your motives in pointing out the 2-D proofs of your past dalliances. You are correct though. We had the “talk” about our pasts before I even left my country, but to be quite fair I never gave it much thought until yours was staring up at me from the pages of a photo album.
You know as well as I do, Mr. Sir, that one cannot simply manipulate you. I pity the poor fool/s who even make such an attempt (English acquaintances included). I am giggling at the thought of personally trying. You’d just throw your head back and laugh that infectious laugh of yours.
You said something this morning on the phone that brought tears to my eyes. I had stated that I had wished you had married someone (instead of the cow you did) that would have made me pale in comparison – someone who added upon and not took away from your small family i.e. you and your parents. You immediately responded that there wasn’t such a woman – that no one compared to me and never would. You are not one for false praise or pretense. I am the one who is humbled.
I don’t care about your past with the exception of the small part I was able to share with you. I only want you to be happy and healthy and to never forget how deeply I love you.
©2013 Darling and Sir