My Love – My Dear Sir,
We both know that being together, at this time, is not an option. We have discussed the cliché “never say never” as well as having hope. If I ever get the chance to be in your arms again, I don’t think I could ever leave them. I know I wouldn’t want to. That thought actually frightens and exhilarates me at the same time
Realistically, I know how I feel about you. I also know that I would take the risk of being hurt again if the opportunity arises to be together once more. Also, if I were honest, I am still dealing with the past hurt. I am chipping away at the stone, and then you come along and whack it with a sledgehammer. The fact that you are wanting and willing to help me smash old baggage melts my heart.
I love you so much.
I know we cannot be together. I see no way that fact will change. You tell me “never say never” and I want to believe you, even though my brain tries to deny it. However in my heart all hope is not extinguished. I want to be with you my Darling, even though I think it unlikely. Your choice of frightened and exhilarating is perfect. My fear of failure is palpable. To hurt you once more would send me into a spiral of depression. One from which I may never recover.
To hold you in my arms again? That thought has me almost in tears. Like almost fifteen years ago, the one hurdle we had to face was the physical. Unlike then, we now know of our compatibility. While I think if we were ever to be in the same room together both of our anxieties would be swept aside. The lead up to that first meeting though would be both excruciating and intense. I am not sure I would be in any way sensible or articulate as I awaited that day.
Yes, I know there is past hurt for you to deal with. I will help in any way that I can. If at the end of that process you decide that we can just be friends, well it will make me sad but I will understand. I inflicted a hurt of great enormity. To be at this point at all truly astounds me. For it to go any further would be a miracle. I am not that lucky my Darling, that was always some other guy.
From Sir With Love
©2013 Darling and Sir