My What A Lovely Blue Tongue

My Wild Darling

You may remember my Darling. We went on a little walk through the hills when we visited the Jenolan Caves. The air was brisk and even though you had been a little ill you soon had quite the jaunty step going on.

You rushed ahead in a teasing and playful manner, then something truly hysterical happened. You came upon some native fauna. It was not a fearsome Red Kangaroo, they can stand over six feet tall when the need arises.

Red Kangaroo

Nor was it one of the multitude of venomous snakes like the Red Bellied Black Snake that are abundant throughout our land and can kill you with one bite.


It wasn’t even a goanna which is basically a giant lizard that would run away rather than stand and fight.


It was a Blue Tongue Lizard. They grow to a maximum of 24 inches, this one would have been lucky to be 15. Their primary defence mechanism is to stick out their blue tongue to frighten away predators, something you should relate to. If you catch one by the tail they will often shed it and regrow a new one allowing them to escape.

Blue Tongue Lizard

You ran back to me like greased lightning, petrified by the beast that confronted you. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. I had one as a pet when I was a child. Of all the lethal Australian wildlife you could encounter this one doesn’t even come close. There are hundreds of lethal snakes and spiders and insects that can hospitalise you. Sharks and crocodiles that would quite literally eat you. There are even reports of giant gropers eating men. The ferocious beast that turned you to water? It was the mighty Blue Tongued Lizard.

My beautiful, gorgeous, precious Darling. Sadly you went swimming in the territorial waters of the most dangerous creature in Australia, me. I will protect you from all the dangerous wildlife in my country. Most especially I will protect you from me.

I love you.

You Will Always Be My Darling

From Sir With Love


My Dear Mirthful Sir,

While we were on our nature hike, I was searching for a kookaburra in the trees. There was a specific bird that we saw, but I don’t recall the name of it. You also said I might spot a kangaroo. I heard a scuttling sound to my left, and some creature from the black lagoon type dragon stuck out its cobalt tongue and hissed at me. My first thought was with a tongue that color it had to be poisonous. Yes I high-tailed it back to you pronto. I ran like Hades himself was after me. I figured you’d sacrifice yourself so one of us would survive.

I couldn’t figure out why you were hysterically laughing with death at our door. I was partially correct; I thought you’d laugh yourself to an early demise. It took you quite a few panicked moments (the panic was on my part) to explain that we would live to see another day.

Suffice it to say that I didn’t venture out ahead of you on my own any more. You held tightly to my hand after that death defying incident. While I know you liked to think of yourself as my brave protector, the constant spurts of amusement were a dead (pun intended) give-a-way that something was amiss. I was too freaked to worry about being the cause of such fits of laughter. I was happy to oblige your funny bone if it meant that you’d hold onto my hand from that point on.

It saddens me to think that you feel I need protection from you. And while I was joking above, I do know that you would sacrifice yourself for me. That’s what unconditional love is all about. I know you would never hurt me now. That will do.

I love you too sweetheart. I always will.

Tamely yours,


©2014  Darling and Sir


14 comments on “My What A Lovely Blue Tongue

  1. Aiming for Simplicity says:

    Sir, I’m jealous, I always wanted a blue-tongue as a pet, however had to suffer through the indignity of any number of cats, dogs and horses, not to mention my brother raising orphan wallabies, now I’m just a crazy cat lady!

    • It seems you did quite well out of the more traditional menagerie. My foray into lizard ownership was short lived. We resided near some quite substantial bush land. In a not so careful moment of care, the blue tongue being poorly attended (by me) saw its opportunity and scurried to freedom, ending my custodianship.

      And by the way there is no such thing as a crazy cat lady, only crazy cat lovers. Thanks for dropping by and saying hello.


  2. Aiming for Simplicity says:

    I’ve been reading, despite my little hiding episode. Meanwhile, since those days I’ve had the following pets as a mother (I claim madness, absolute madness) – goats, cows, horses, cats, dogs, rats, guinea pigs and a variety of birds. I now have settled on one cockatiel (which I misjudged their longevity considerable) & my three cats (well my cat and two childrens cats that are fed, cleaned up after and looked after by me). A house is not a home without a cat, simple really.

  3. My goodness that’s not a menagerie, its a zoo! I am sure you could have managed a little blue tongue and no one would have even noticed.

    As for the cats, I love them. They are arrogant and aloof, haughty and indifferent. They are just like humans would be if we had no ethics or morals……lol


  4. Darling don’t feel bad, lizards are one of the freakiest creatures on the planet (along with snakes and frogs) and I would have reacted the same way, except I would have screamed at the top of my lungs! I had a giant one, which I nicknamed Godzila, invade my house a week or so ago and I had to run next door to find someone to bravely get rid of it for me lol 😀

    • LOL Moon! That thing lumbered my way without any fear. I thought the tongue was like a squid that would squirt blue poisonous ink my way.
      I would have ran with you. Then we’d have to console ourselves with pedicures afterwards.

      We have a frog story coming soon. Ha.

      ~ Darling

      • I probably would have been too afraid to even notice the blue tongue lol! I can’t wait to read the frog story, and yes definitely pedicures to sooth our nerves, followed by a long visit to Barnes and Noble (which is my calming happy place lol)! 😀

        • Hi Moon

          I just love how we’ve managed to make this story into a girl’s night out. Pedicures and Barnes & Noble! Don’t forget the hot chocolates, the open fire place and maybe a scantily clad butler. All because a 15 inch lizard stuck its tongue out at one of you. Is there no depths of depravity you two won’t sink too? LOL


          • Definitely the scantily clad bulter, I can’t believe I forgot to mention him before! And no my good Sir, none whatsoever when a lizard is involved lol! 😀

          • Sir! You offend! You can be my scantily clad butler – in your cape. 😉

            Don’t mind him, Moon. He’s just angry we didn’t invite him to get a pedicure too.

            ~ Darling

  5. Madame Queng says:

    Reblogged this on Quennietophyta and commented:
    So precious…just like what I read in ficitonal stories that I love so much ❤

  6. Lizards are freaky…..Sir, honestly…..maisy and now a blue tongued lizard…man the things that you did to make Ms.Darling run to you. I see it all Mr.Sir. There is no hiding it from me 😉

  7. Hi BP

    It has taken 15 years but my dastardly plot has been uncovered, foiled again.


  8. steve morvell says:

    a credit for the use of my painting would be much appreciated thanks.

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