My Dear Fresh Sir,
When I came to OZ I packed everything but the kitchen sink (okay not even close, but hyperbole is my friend). One thing I did stock up on was Altoids. I brought 3 different varieties with me: peppermint, wintergreen, and cinnamon. While I was never a girl scout, I like to be prepared.
I cannot recall if you were familiar with Altoids before I was with you, but suffice it to say you saw all the tins lined up on the dresser. I offered you some mints, and you went directly to the peppermint flavor. You loved the peppermint ones. To directly quote you, “They’re sensational.”
You were curious about the other flavors. Wintergreen was not a taste you seemed to know well. I recall you popping one of the green mints into your mouth then promptly spat it out 3 seconds later loudly proclaiming “Yuck.” I started giggling, but it soon turned into a laughing fit. I honestly don’t know if you minded the cinnamon kind, because the vision of you spitting out that wintergreen mint takes full precedence. The memory makes me chuckle to this day.
A couple of times I tried to sneak you another flavor besides peppermint, but you’d always check the color (white = peppermint, red = cinnamon, green = wintergreen). You were ever so careful no matter how sneaky I tried to be. You were on to me, but I enjoyed the game. I gave you the peppermints.
My Originally Celebrated Darling
There is only one flavour of Altoids, and that’s peppermint. The other two, well they are pretenders to the throne.
In answer to your earlier statement yes I was familiar with Altoids. There is nothing quite like them when it comes to breath mints. They were not available in Australia then, they are still not easy to obtain even now. The only place I have seen them was a speciality shop that deals in American candy. It was at the Sydney Casino and they were $ 10.00 a tin, a little expensive even by my taste. Of course I bought five tins because like most junkies I needed my fix. When you and I parted company I lost my main supplier.
I am little hurt to hear that you tried to trick me with other flavoured mints. Here I was thinking you must have been colour blind. I am incredibly disappointed in you my Darling. You tried to poison me with those vile “would be if they could be” mints. It has taken you 15 years to come clean but now at last the truth is out.
You know how thrilled I was to receive a fresh shipment in your Christmas package. I keep a tin on both my desks, one at work and at home. Send more! You never know when the next transport strike may be.
Breath Freshingly Yours
From Sir With Love
©2014 Darling and Sir