My Dear Expert Sir,
We spoke on the phone today, and you got on your soap box for a few moments. You were relentless in making sure I was doing things I needed to do i.e. healthy diet, exercise, get enough sleep, etc.
Now before you scoff, your questioning was very endearing and showed me that you truly cared. Now me being me, I made a smart ass comeback about you being a Sir-ologist in the art of Sir-ology. You laughed and remarked that you liked that title and subject area. You are a connoisseur in all things Sir-ness.
Now my Sir, if truth be known I am quite a proficient when it comes to the knowledge of you. I know you quite well love, and perhaps even a little bit better than you know yourself. So welcome to Darling-ville. Put your feet up, relax, and stay a while. I shall make you that cup of tea I do so well.
I love you very much.
Dear Agnes (We both know its not your name but if you insist on me writing this type of letter I could not think of a better bon mot)
I am somewhat surprised that you chose to mention your frustratingly obvious failings when it comes to looking after your own well being. It vexes me to no end when I hear you put yourself last and the repeated times it has happened. I will willingly ascend the soapbox yet again, and do so now to ensure you pay heed to my concerns and start looking after yourself.
We now know, after extensive testing of your allergies, the adverse impact some of the products you consume have had on your life. We now know that you need to transition these things out of your life as it’s the best possible treatment for your condition. But what do you do? Let me ask again. WHAT DO YOU DO? You tell me that you are too busy to deal with it right now and that you will put other life events before your own. Yet again.
Let me say here in a manner that brokers no confusion. I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. If you think I am not a man of action I dare you to test me on this. My passport is ready and my wallet is willing. If you won’t allow me to look after you from here (you know I have told you to send me the literature I will read it and have shipped to you the things you need to start using). Then I will jump on a plane and do it in person. I even urge you to call my bluff because as you know my love I just don’t blink.
That being said I am more than happy to settle in Darlingville. I would love to try its tea shrine and sample its wares. As for putting up my feet and relaxing, well that will happen when you start looking after yourself instead of just talking about it.
Professor Sir With Love
©2014 Darling and Sir