To Darling and Sir,
It fills me with awe sometimes to watch your experiences come alive on screen. You are both incredible writers, but more than that, all of your heart and soul are in these little tiny black characters and I believe that it takes a whole lot of strength to let yourselves be vulnerable like that. It’s part of why I have followed you and read every single one of your posts – these words are the strings that are attached to two very real people in a world where everything is virtual. Your blog is filled with feelings and emotions and so much love, it’s hard not to imagine it as a living breathing thing.
Being a blogger myself and also someone in a long distance relationship, I have a couple of questions, some more serious than the others. How do you communicate, now that these “emails” are public? Do you talk on the phone, do you Skype, do you text a lot? What is your preferred mode of communication? Have you managed to see each other yet? If you have, how was that experience after all those years of not being in each other’s lives actively?
Do you consider yourselves to be in a full-fledged relationship – I know your hearts are forever entwined, but I mean more than that. Do you see other people or have you decided that this is it for now?
On a lighter note, how in the world do you understand Sir now that he’s well and away with the pixies? Do you have to crack a tinnie every time he’s romancing you with the weird language they speak in Oz land? Sir, what are some of the “cultural” differences you’ve faced? Do you make a lot of Duck Dynasty jokes?
I think I might have gone overboard, not giving room to the other lucky people who have been chosen for this privilege so I will cease and desist. Just know that I’m invested in the both you for good!
Let me start by saying great letter and thanks for playing.
You have shared some extremely kind words when it comes to our ability to write. I humbly thank you for that. It must be said however that your own eloquence is exquisite, so I am in a little awe to be described as such.
As for your communication questions, let me be frank. We try to speak on the phone twice a day, once early in Darling’s morning (but late in my night) and again late in Darling’s evening (but late afternoon for me). We do Skype a little but not a lot. We use Tango as the free call phone app, but we have also used Viber and Kakao. We message each other constantly throughout our days and our normal platform is WhatsApp, but when we are both in front of a pc we use HipChat. I quite like it as it lets you send photos, music and documents and you can seamlessly transition from phone to tablet to pc and even use all three at once should you so desire.
Sadly we have not managed to see one another yet again. Darling has an extremely busy life, so I don’t really think it’s an option for her right now. As for your relationship question the answer from me is “yes I do!”
I don’t find the cultural differences of which you speak too much of a bother. I know, just as it may have done for you, that American culture permeates my life. I watch American TV shows, I buy tickets to see American films and I eat in American fast food outlets so it is rare that a phrase or an action catches me unaware. There are things about America that I find somewhat disturbing. The social injustices that seem to be accepted and prevalent, the use of religion to justify quite cruel and unnecessary distress, the blatant hypocrisy of the political class, the culture of American exceptionalism along with the failure of the populace to recognise that they have lost much of what once made them uniquely American. That being said it is a country that I truly love. Winston Churchill I think summed it up best when he said:
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else..
I would use none of these things however to describe my Darling. They are broader observations and are essentially at the point of being meaningless generalisations which any competent person could easily pick apart.
Anyway Cupi, thanks for taking the time to write. I hope I have answered your questions to your satisfaction. Let’s hope we can have the ending I think we all are hoping for.
Thanks so much for your letter. Your beautiful thoughts touched me. While I feel Sir’s love for me through his letters, I think it’s great that you can also feel the depth of his emotions. He is an eloquent writer. What’s really poignant for me is when I read Sir’s letters I “hear” him – his voice. When he makes a joke, I laugh.
Sir and I are truly two very real people (to use your phrase). He has stated in a previous letter that when we lost contact he felt he had lost his best friend. I felt much the same way. I hesitated making our letters public because I was so protective of how I felt, but I was not and am not ashamed of my feelings for him. He is an easy person to love even when he’s being a pompous arse (ask him about THAT one).
If a lot of time passes without having contact with Sir in some small way, I feel anxious. He has said that it makes him “panicky.” I think it stems from being out of contact for so long. Sir mentioned in his response the apps we use to keep in contact. We will be writing a letter soon about the first time we “saw” each other again via live video feed. Sadly, it hasn’t been in person. I cannot answer when that will happen.
My relationship with Sir is totally real. He is a part of my life. It feels nice. It seems natural. In the short time that we’ve reconnected, he has been a listening ear, a support, a friend, and mentor. He has shown me unconditional love. He’s the whole package. I love him.
I am not sure how to answer your question, “Have you decided this is it for now?” As I stated in my response to Cate’s letter, I DO feel that there is a reason that Sir is in my life now. I do not know that reason, but I feel there is a time and place for everything. Rushing into things never worked for me, so I am quite comfortable, for now, to take these as they come.
As for understanding Sir, well I can’t claim that I ever really understand him, but I grin, nod a lot, and say “uh huh.” I am not sure he’s fooled though. Nothing gets passed that confounded man. Culture differences have never been an issue with me.