In another letter here, Sir called his Darling – Agnes. This is Darling’s response to being called that name. For a translation of Darling’s letter see below.
Mah Bubba Sir,
Ah jest luv yo’. Yo’ make me laugh.
How is it gwine at wawk? Has thin’s settled down?
Ah knows yo’ luv me. Ah knows yo’ wo’ry. Ah luv thet about yo’.
Yer a stellar man, as enny fool kin plainly see. Ah reckon yer th’ cat’s meow.
How is yer banjo playin’ a-comin’ along? Has yer han’ recovahed on account o’ yo’ had yer sixth finger removed?
Ah w’d nevah call yer bluff, mah luv. Yo’ ‘dn’t haf ennythin’ t’bellyache about eff’n ah did thet.
Ah sure reckon yer neat.
Allus yer gal,
p.s. Yo’ knows ah luv it when yo’ call me Agnes, but eff’n yer a-gonna corntinue’d yo’ mind callin’ me Aggie instead?
My Redneck Darling
I am somewhat gob smacked by this letter! I called you Agnes because I was alluding to an agony aunt and here we are going all Cajun and creole on each other. Life is sometimes very strange.
I must confess I had no idea what you said to me in this letter. I was just too perplexed by the phonetic spelling and the abbreviation of words. I have never felt the urge to put correction fluid on a screen as much as I did upon reading this.
So let me say the simple stuff. I worry about you and your condition and know that without much prodding you would not deal with it in a timely manner. I will remain resolute in dealing with it despite your feigned ignorance, denials, evasions and other attempts to deflect the matter.
I love you very much and want nothing more than to see you fit and well. As for having nothing to bellyache about then I suggest you are selling yourself way too short. I have no doubt you will find something to vex me with.
I love you with all my heart even with a southern drawl, some quite frankly appalling spelling along with those grammatical errors that would quite frankly make a school teacher weep.
I hope y’all have a great day now.
My Bubba Sir,
I just love you. You make me laugh.
How is it going at work? Have things settled down? I know you love me. I know you worry. I love that about you. You’re a stellar man, and it’s obvious. I think you’re the cat’s meow.
How is your banjo playing coming along? Has your hand recovered from having your sixth finger removed?
I would never call your bluff, love. You wouldn’t have anything to bellyache about if I did that. I just think you’re neat.
Always your gal,
p.s. You know I love it when you call me Agnes, but if you’re going to continue would you mind calling me Aggie instead?
©2014 Darling and Sir