Be Ye Not Such A Pompous Arse

My Sweetest Sir,

Recently I remarked that you’re an easy person to love even when you’re being a pompous arse.  I should explain that comment of mine.

A few days ago I bombarded you with some questions while you were at work (we lovingly call it text bombing). Normally you just roll with it, but on this day I guess my incessant questioning was too much. The topic of my questioning probably also set you on edge.  I am sorry.

You answered in a very curt manner to which I responded a simple “OK.”

Later on you messaged, “I can be a pompous arse at times.”

I replied,” Yes, but it doesn’t make me love you any less.”

Nice reply.”

And I do love you Sir.”

I love you too my Darling.”

You are always quick to apologize. That is one of your most endearing characteristics. All of us have bad days, and neither you nor I are an exception. I wish I was there to give you a back and shoulder massage to help. I just try to give you wide berth when you need it.

Healthy detachments are good, but I personally love the re-attachments. I am attached to you sweetheart.

Bondingly yours,



My Dearest Darling

I think you go too easy on me. I am a pompous arse.

Right now I am making decisions that directly affect the employees and contractors who work for me. My decisions also indirectly affect the 4,700 customers that are part of the business. Some of those decisions are hard to make, and I have to insulate myself from them or I may seize up with inaction. On the occasion of which you speak, I was very much performing at my imperial best. I am normally quite consultative when gathering information, but when it has been evaluated and I make a decision and act on it I expect it to be respected and honoured by those who I task to implement it.  

At the very moment you were text bombing me, I was essentially making two positions within my organisation redundant. That means two of my employees would essentially be unemployed, through no fault of their own. Sadly it was one of the many decisions I had to make in order to ensure the future viability of the business. It is not my habit to dodge or evade the big decisions, but it also not in my nature to drag them out and prolong the suffering. I struck and did so surely and quickly. It gave me no pleasure but it had to be done.

Your last text was about an old blog that I have not added to since I think July 2012. It has a number of references to my ex wife. You had a question about one of those references. You are entitled to ask, and you know I will give you an honest answer. I think it confuses you a little, because I don’t universally condemn her. While much of the blame can be laid at her feet some can be laid at mine as well. I honestly tried to make a go of my marriage, but we both know it was built on a lie. I had forsaken you to be with her, so it was a marriage built on sand. I reached a certain point and quite literally gave up; I checked out and basically let it wither on the vine. I should have taken a scalpel to it and acted decisively. Unlike in business I was racked with guilt and indecision and the damage as a result was far worse.

So to get back to your point. Your text bomb arrived, with its difficult reference, and I treated it like business when I should have treated it with love. I was a pompous arse and for that I am truly sorry. You got me on a low but powerful moment in my day and the reference to my ex wife totally threw me. I responded with swiftness and little consideration. It’s no excuse, but it’s how it happened. I love you my Darling. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but with so many balls in the air I sometimes choose to play the wrong one when I’m not even sure of the game. You were caught in the crossfire. So with my many mixed metaphors now here for you to see in black and white I will sign off.

Pompously Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014 Darling and Sir


11 comments on “Be Ye Not Such A Pompous Arse

  1. wingedprisms says:

    you guys are awesome……….

  2. Pompous or not, love prevails with Sir and Ms.Darling.

    Cheers for that,

  3. Deborah says:

    I’ve only been following a short time, but today’s post was insightful, reflective, and full of honesty. The connections between having to sort out our various selves in the course of the day is not an easy one. This situation was sorted with grace and dignity. I think we can all be a bit pompous at times, but this is a good example of how a little willingness to examine our behavior can redeem our moments of unthinking.

    • Hi Deb,

      I love your comment. It always takes two willing people to have a successful relationship, I agree. We are going to make mistakes, but the alternative isn’t an option; we already lost 14 and a half years of being in each other’s lives. That option was far worse.

      Thank you for sharing your wise thoughts.


  4. cupitonians says:

    NOW it makes sense, that comment. You two are so good with telling us about niggling questions. And if ever there was an apology letter to trump all apology letters, this one is it. So sorry you have to struggle and work, Sir. Hopefully it will be done and dusted soon. And Darling, your unconditional love puts us all to shame! ❤

    • Cupi,

      Even though – at the time – this incident didn’t feel very good, we both laughed when I referenced it in the response to your letter and even the “Pompous Arse” letter itself.

      We try to deal with things swiftly, let things go quickly, and move on. We don’t always get it right, but we do our best.

      Thanks for your incredibly sweet comments. Love them – as always.

      ~ Darling

      • cupitonians says:

        I love that you deal with things immediately and don’t let things fester. It’s bad enough under normal circumstances, but in long distance, I shudder to think of what sort of monster it would become if left untended!

        • It’s a good rule to follow for any healthy relationship, although there is nothing wrong with taking a time out if needed.

          Thanks Cupi!

        • Hi Cupi

          Even when you try and deal with things it doesn’t always make it better. That being said at least we do try. The love is strong, there is no malice or evil intent. That in itself helps smooth out the bumps along the way.


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