Crazy Neighbor

My Dear Protective Sir,

One word: Maisy.

You had me scared of your poor, defenseless, old neighbor lady before I ever got to Australia. Then I caught her watching me: and watching me – always watching me.

Once I went out in the backyard to do something, and poor Maisy made a beeline for me. I had no idea she could get around that quickly. She was fast for an old gal.

She started asking me questions. She wanted to know who I was, what I was doing in your house, how long I was staying, and why did I talk funny? (Those are just a few of the questions she bombarded me with.) I believe I started making up answers to throw her off the scent of a good gossip story. I also wanted so badly to point out that I had on your dressing gown and you needed it back pronto. Her tongue wouldn’t have stopped wagging for days. Being the ever-so-proper woman I am, I refrained.

I found it quite funny that even her son went the long way around to avoid her (but more on that later).  Dear Maisy, I hope you thought of me often.

Naughtily yours,

Darling

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My Dear Scandalous Darling

Neighbourhood Watch took on a whole new meaning with a Maisy in your life as she never missed a thing. The neighbourhood was not so much watched as scrutinised, recorded then reported upon.  

Maisy, well she would torment me. Her back porch gave her the perfect view into my backyard. If it was a warm evening and we were barbequing, she would know and join the party. If I had visitors she would see and find some reason to visit. She was shameless. If there was an event on she would invite herself. I can remember being coerced into taking her to the start of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race one year at a quite rich and powerful colleague’s home where she was rude and obnoxious to a myriad of people. When she felt it was time to go, and that the rest of us might actually be enjoying ourselves, she feigned a hypoglycemic attack and forced us to take her home. She was the bane of my existence.

There was another occasion when she invited herself along to a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant then moaned bitterly about the garlic. She even managed to destroy a Christmas lunch once. We had booked to go to the restaurant.  She decided she should be there also, so she called the restaurant and changed the booking to include her, which was bad enough. That wasn’t where it ended however; she also changed us from the second sitting to the first because she didn’t wish to eat at a 1.30pm. I was apoplectic.

When you visited me I most definitely would have warned you about The Maisy Beast (as she was known to all my friends and visitors.) She was a pox on my home and I did not wish for her to poison the beauty that was you and I alone together. I knew she would hunt you down and interrogate you. Having some strange American in my home would have been just too much for her gossip riddled mind. We both know she stalked you. There was no hiding from The Beast with rumour and innuendo to be had.

I wish you had tried to make her speechless with mention of the dressing gown and my urgent requirement thereof. She would have taken a moment to digest it and then probably popped a hip joint in her rush to get to the phone and tell her gossip buddies.

Interrogatingly Your 

From Sir With Love

©2014 Darling and Sir

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Merry Christmas From Darling and Sir

My Dearest Sir,

I simply adore you. I am also very proud of your abilities. I love when you play the piano. I love watching and hearing you. I want others to be able to get a glimpse of how truly talented you are – just a glimpse mind you hence the inserted clip art at times you are fully visible. You’re still entitled to your privacy.

I cherish you, my love. I always have.

Forever yours,

Darling

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My Lyrical Darling

I loved to play the piano for you. I look at the video and adore that you love it. I still have trouble being objective though. I can see its faults. You know I play a lot of improvisational jazz, blues and rock material. Virtually none of that is showcased here. I am being self critical I know, but I consider that style to be my greatest strength. I have said it before but all the effort that went into making the videos including practice, time and money was undoubtedly worth it. It led you back to me.

I Love You My Darling

Merry Christmas

From Sir With Love

©2013 Darling and Sir

A Gift of Love

My Dear Sincere Sir,

You are currently in the land of Nod, and that warms my heart. I could not let this opportunity pass me by though; I needed to express my thanks to you. I apologize ahead of time for posting my second letter sans your reply. You still have the option to respond of course (when you wake), but that will be up to you.

As you know, yesterday I went to my mailbox to discover a package from you. I saw your handwriting on the parcel and that brought back a myriad of memories and feelings in itself. The mail person had wedged the package in tight, and I struggled to remove it. Finally a neighbor offered his assistance, and after considerable exertion he was able to extract it from that blasted box. I was worried that whatever was in the package was damaged; alas, it survived admirably. All is well.

My heart was full as I carefully unwrapped the package, because I knew that you had touched and handled it. I took a few moments just to let that sink in – Sir has touched this.

Upon opening the parcel, my hands shook when I saw what it was. I read your card, and I was overcome with emotion. When you wrote, “To my Darling – I think we can do better than a spiral bound notebook” it made me laugh then cry. You know how much I write. You remembered that I have copious notebooks filled with my writing. You have always been so thoughtful and thorough. I am deeply touched.

The leather journal is absolutely exquisite. The handmade pages are beautiful, and I am terrified of writing in it (I can hear your reprimand). My first thought was I needed an old-fashioned quill with a bottle of ink to use to write in it, but we both know I would ruin it and get ink all over it and myself. I will find the perfect writing tool. I am not ashamed to admit that I hugged it to my chest for some time while I breathed in the smell of the leather and pages.

I love you so much. I thank you with all my heart.

Always and truly yours,

Darling

©2013 Darling and Sir

Sir’s gift to Darling. Christmas 2013

The Christmas Call

Dearest Sir,

Who needs a call from Santa, when you call instead?  Do you remember phoning that year on your Christmas (our Christmas Eve)?  You talked to both of my children, and you were incredibly sweet.

I recall you telling them that Santa had already been Down Under, and you had it on good authority that they’ve both been good that year. They couldn’t quite comprehend that Santa had already been to your place. You soothed their fears and got them excited (even more than they already were) for Christmas the following morning.

This is just a small, happy memory that I have of you. It still warms my heart and makes me smile.

Sweetly,

Darling

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My Darling

I do remember that call quite vividly. No doubt I wanted to hear your voice. I mean we spoke daily even then, well before the advent of free VOIP calls and mobile internet apps. I became quite the expert on which phone companies had the best deals for calls to the United States.

But the most endearing part was hearing your kids and how excited they were about Christmas and the imminent arrival of Santa. There is nothing quite like enjoying Christmas through the eyes of a young child. Your two were 7 and 4 I think? I especially remember your daughter being totally incredulous when I told her Santa has already been to Australia and that he was on his way to her home now. She seemed quite worried that he may not make it there and that she might in some way miss out. I remember saying she had nothing to fear and that Santa held both she and her brother in high regard and that Christmas Day would see them gets lots of great presents.

It was lots of fun and to hear their excitement. Their obvious joy as that momentous day in their little lives approached was an absolute delight. As a coda you know that your now adult daughter and I spoke briefly not that long ago. That she even recollected that call gave me no end of pleasure.

Ho Ho Ho You Will Always be My Darling

From Sir With Love

©2013 Darling and Sir