Crazy Neighbor

My Dear Protective Sir,

One word: Maisy.

You had me scared of your poor, defenseless, old neighbor lady before I ever got to Australia. Then I caught her watching me: and watching me – always watching me.

Once I went out in the backyard to do something, and poor Maisy made a beeline for me. I had no idea she could get around that quickly. She was fast for an old gal.

She started asking me questions. She wanted to know who I was, what I was doing in your house, how long I was staying, and why did I talk funny? (Those are just a few of the questions she bombarded me with.) I believe I started making up answers to throw her off the scent of a good gossip story. I also wanted so badly to point out that I had on your dressing gown and you needed it back pronto. Her tongue wouldn’t have stopped wagging for days. Being the ever-so-proper woman I am, I refrained.

I found it quite funny that even her son went the long way around to avoid her (but more on that later).  Dear Maisy, I hope you thought of me often.

Naughtily yours,

Darling

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

My Dear Scandalous Darling

Neighbourhood Watch took on a whole new meaning with a Maisy in your life as she never missed a thing. The neighbourhood was not so much watched as scrutinised, recorded then reported upon.  

Maisy, well she would torment me. Her back porch gave her the perfect view into my backyard. If it was a warm evening and we were barbequing, she would know and join the party. If I had visitors she would see and find some reason to visit. She was shameless. If there was an event on she would invite herself. I can remember being coerced into taking her to the start of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race one year at a quite rich and powerful colleague’s home where she was rude and obnoxious to a myriad of people. When she felt it was time to go, and that the rest of us might actually be enjoying ourselves, she feigned a hypoglycemic attack and forced us to take her home. She was the bane of my existence.

There was another occasion when she invited herself along to a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant then moaned bitterly about the garlic. She even managed to destroy a Christmas lunch once. We had booked to go to the restaurant.  She decided she should be there also, so she called the restaurant and changed the booking to include her, which was bad enough. That wasn’t where it ended however; she also changed us from the second sitting to the first because she didn’t wish to eat at a 1.30pm. I was apoplectic.

When you visited me I most definitely would have warned you about The Maisy Beast (as she was known to all my friends and visitors.) She was a pox on my home and I did not wish for her to poison the beauty that was you and I alone together. I knew she would hunt you down and interrogate you. Having some strange American in my home would have been just too much for her gossip riddled mind. We both know she stalked you. There was no hiding from The Beast with rumour and innuendo to be had.

I wish you had tried to make her speechless with mention of the dressing gown and my urgent requirement thereof. She would have taken a moment to digest it and then probably popped a hip joint in her rush to get to the phone and tell her gossip buddies.

Interrogatingly Your 

From Sir With Love

©2014 Darling and Sir

Advertisement

Musical Dressing Gown

My Loving Sir,

I mentioned briefly in a previous response the musical dressing gown that you gifted me. I don’t remember the particulars of why you gave it to me, but I do remember you saying that you had a robe that you thought would look fabulous on me. When I tried to give it back, you insisted that I keep it. I think you just liked seeing me in it. Or perhaps you just liked seeing it in a heap on the floor?

The colors in the robe are vibrant and it’s covered in musical instruments – which are totally you. As we’ve stated, music is a common bond that we share, even though you are much more talented in that area. I love the music in you.

I have kept that beautiful robe all this time, though I must confess that for years I hid it away stuffed in a drawer and out of sight. It was just too much of a painful reminder of you – of us. A few years ago, I rescued your dressing gown from its keeping place and it once again holds a position of honor in my closet. I sent you a picture of it recently. You were amazed that the colors have not faded; it is an ideal symbol of us. I love it. Thank you.

Endearingly,

Darling

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

My Darling

I remember you in that dressing gown all too well. So let’s just cut to the chase and add the picture that encapsulates you in it.

That photo now appears on my phone. Every time you call me; it’s what I see. It was a Christmas gift from my mother, but it suited you so much better. I felt a little guilty when I told her I no longer owned it, but I knew it had gone to a good home. As for seeing it on you, well lets just say the photo is my second favourite position for the robe. I actually preferred it caressing your ankles in one sudden frenzied movement. Not that it was an image I ever lingered on, there was so much more to see.

I am pleased it has had its place restored in your home and your heart.

It is one of your defining images. I love that you still have it and that it still adorns your body. You say it is an ideal symbol of us and I think you are right. It was hidden away in a wardrobe, it was kept from the light, its existence denied but like our love when allowed back into the sunlight it shone like a beacon and still does. Who knows maybe one day I will get to see it again and you in it (and maybe out of it?).

You Will Always be My Darling

From Sir With Love

©2013 Darling and Sir