Measure a Year of Love

One year ago today, the world tipped and balanced itself again.

Darling swallowed her trepidation and contacted Sir via text messaging.

The paradigm shift happened at exactly 9:25pm local time for Darling on the 17th of September and at 1:25pm on the 18th of September for Sir.

It has been an extremely emotional journey full of sadness, joy, pain, laughter, tears, forgiveness, and immense love – as any great love story should be. The Sir Letters began shortly thereafter.

Sir so succinctly stated to Darling earlier today, “Happy Anniversary Darling.”

A very happy anniversary indeed, Sir. Amen to that.

So to all our readers and fans do us a favour and smile for us today then pay it forward.

Peace and joy –

Love always,

Darling and Sir


©2014 Darling and Sir







Darling Speaks Funny and Sir is Rewarded (Part 2)

My Dear Satiable Sir,

As stated in a previous letter, I ordered an appetizer in my ‘Ah-mer-i-cun’ speak. My scallops morphed into a salad much to my confusion. In order to rectify the situation, I was brought a salad and scallops (I was full before we even had our entrée).

As I was tasting the scrumptious scallops, I bit upon something hard. I spat it out and inspected the offensive object. You took it from me and also gave it your thorough attention. It appeared to be a small piece of plastic. You called the waiter over, and added to his embarrassment after the appetizer kerfuffle by showing him the piece of plastic that was in my dish of scallops.

As an apology, the waiter brought over a very nice glass of port after our meal. As a non-alcoholic drinker, I laughed at the irony. I took a small sip of port just to say I did then I pushed the glass over your way. You took one for the team and happily consumed the conciliatory glass of hootch. That’s my stalwart Sir.

I love you dearly and most sincerely.

Always refined,



My Over Egged Darling

Yes you did get it all when it came to entrees at that particular establishment, both salad and scallops. But let’s be honest you were always a “have your cake and eat it too” kind of girl.

The scallops were scrumdiddlyumptious as I recall. Looking back at it now I think the piece of plastic may have actually been one of the chemical “rocks” they add to hydroponically grown vegetables. I may very well be wrong but it seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation for how it got there. Regardless, it most certainly did not belong anywhere in your meal. 

As for the tasty glass of fortified wine proffered by way of apology, it really did seem the least they could. I’m not sure I would have been able to stop at one though. I have always been a “nothing exceeds like excess” kind of guy. 

Imbibingly Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014  Darling and Sir

Toe-May-Toe or Toe-Mah-Toe

My Dear Verbose Sir,

Apparently I talk funny my love.

Once when we dined out, I ordered scallops,  in my damn Yankee speak, as an hors d’oeuvre. The waiter brought us our appetizers and placed a salad before me. He noticed the confusion on my face and asked if the salad wasn’t to my liking. I told him the salad looked great, but it wasn’t what I ordered. You informed him that I had ordered scallops in your proper Australian accent. The waiter sheepishly stated that he thought I said ‘salad.’ I suppose it was easier for him to guess what I said instead of asking for clarification from the Australian man sitting across from me. Or maybe it was a pride thing?

You thought it was hysterical. We both laughed, and it’s a great memory for us now. This wasn’t the only faux pas that happened to us during our many dining experiences, but I will save them for another letter. Suffice it to say I still like scallops and salad. I’m versatile that way.

Hungrily yours,


This is not a salad.

This is not a salad.


My Ravenous Darling

You have nothing like a damn Yankee accent. In fact I would be hard pressed to establish what region you hail from based on your accent alone. I am sure your speech patterns have a very proper name, something like “North American uninflected” or other such guff. I have no idea what it’s really called but it is certainly not southern and definitely not Yankee.

I fear the problem came when you said out loud “scallops.” Here in Australia it is pronounced with a soft “a” whereas your pronunciation was much harder. Therefore to his tender ears it would have sounded like “scallops” with the “cal” part sounding the same as it would in “California,” whereas here in Australia the “a” is pronounced as an “o.” The “cal” sounds the same as it would in “collar.” Therefore to represent it phonetically it would read “scollops.” To his delicate hearing it sounded closer to “salad” than “scallops.”

Clearly you had an issue with seafood while you were here my love. Between the oysters and the scallops our culinary world was rising up against you. I know you prevailed, however you even lived to tell the tale.

Epicureaningly Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014  Darling and Sir

Mr. Sir, Is That You?

My Soothing Sir,

That first night after I texted you after all those years, I had trouble sleeping. My head was still reeling with the reality that we had just exchanged messages. I felt surreal. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that we had actually communicated. The next day at work it was all I could think of, and I know there was a part of me that couldn’t quite believe that it was indeed you.

With that thought process weighing on my mind, I surprised myself (and you) by ringing you out of the blue the next evening after work. I kept thinking that if I heard your voice, it would all be genuine. I had never forgotten your voice. I needed and wanted that connection to be able to accept that it really was you who was responding to my messages.

I dialed your number and you answered. I heard you. You said words and sentences to me, but I felt bewildered. I could tell it was you, but you didn’t sound as I had remembered. I felt let down and dismayed with myself. I was appalled to think that my memory of your voice – the one thing I had prided myself in remembering – was flawed. I tried to hide my disappointment in myself. I couldn’t contain my emotions, and I finally disclosed to you what I was thinking. You told me later how that made you feel. It’s really quite comical now, and I think I’ll let you finish this story.

Suffice it to say, that it all worked out in the end, and the puzzle was solved. I wasn’t as erroneous as I assumed. You are Sir – voice and all.

Mesmerizingly yours,



My Shocking Darling

I remember that call all too well. Yes we had texted earlier in my day, and I had postponed an appointment so we could continue to do so. When I finally left I headed out and I can remember standing at my friend’s back door with tears streaming down my face. I was an absolute dribbling idiot. I headed home and cracked a bottle of wine. I just sat at my computer desk and tried to distract myself by playing some old computer game or another.

Night began to fall and there I was sitting in my darkened home with no light other than the evil glow of my neglected computer screen. There was a knock on my door and my same  friend had arrived to check on my well being.  It did not look good.  Here I was sitting alone in the dark inhaling a bottle of wine. All I could do was think of you. My thoughts and emotions were a blur. I reassured her that I would still be alive in the morning, and that I would not be on the next flight to America. She left and I continued my consumption. 

Well one bottle led to another and suddenly it was 10.00pm and my phone rang. I knew it was you. I had saved your details into Tango. At that point I don’t think I even knew that Tango had voice capabilities. I remember registering a modicum of surprise at that fact. In the context of my day it was small change however, the fact we had spoken for the first time in 14 years was the killer on that front.

You my love, had at least been to sleep. I however was one glass away from finishing my second bottle of what was quite frankly pretty awful wine and I was emotionally overwrought when my phone began ringing. Of course I answered, there was never any question. I remember being devastated when you said I didn’t sound the same. As you know I have always been a little vain when it comes to my voice. I tried to explain that the emotion and the wine weren’t helping. I could tell by the incredulity in your tone that you were more than a little doubtful on that fact. If for one moment I had thought you would call I would have remained stone cold stone sober. 

So there you have it. Our first conversation after fourteen years, and I was an emotional drunk. Why did you call again?

Imbibingly Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014  Darling and Sir

I Know Why

My Dear Love – Sir,

I sent you this song a while back. The song hurt my heart with its beautiful, haunting words and melody. I knew I had to send it to you if you. I wondered if you had heard it before; you informed me you hadn’t.

I closed my eyes, listened to the words of this song, and I let myself remember us – how we were before it all turned upside down. This poignant song makes me ache for you.

There is one thing I do know though; I know why I love you. I just do, because you’re you – you’re my Sir. As the song says, I was afraid of loving you again, but the truth is I never stopped. You have my heart. Please keep it safe.

Shawn Colvin – I Don’t Know Why

Always yours,


My Loving Darling

You amaze me with the music you pick. Some if it has very quickly made its way it in to my repertoire.  I feel this will be another.

I didn’t really connect with it much the first time you sent it. Let me say that has now changed. I love this song.

It is overwhelming to hear that you love me still and that you feel you never stopped. I know I always carried a torch for you. It is earth shattering to me that I can tell you it now. I never thought I would again have the chance.

As for your heart, well it is safe. I am not prone to making the same mistake twice, especially one of this enormity. I love you my Darling with all my heart.

You Will Always Be My Darling

From Sir With Love

©2014 Darling and Sir

Taint Nick

My Desirable Darling

We have spoken quite candidly about my dalliances with the opposite sex. You took enormous pleasure dissecting it in nauseating detail when you visited these shores. I could never accuse you of the same thing, your behaviour has always been unimpeachable. That being said there have been quite a few men in your life who have fallen for you, fallen for you hard. Some of these men I’d known about and some have been more recent. There is one man in particular (and I so hope that you’re cringing right now, just not too much) who I find both appalling and offensive. That being said without him you may have never found me, so for that I owe him my undying gratitude. His motives were far from pure but regardless his attempts to manipulate the process were for nought and you are I are together once more, even if it is only a cyber together.

So let me begin his character assassination. He is a minor league English DJ who has a great face for radio. You sent me a lovely picture of him in a giant purple onesie, and it haunts me to this day. You know I want to share it just because something that funny should not be kept to oneself.  In the past he has treated you in the most despicable manner and even threatened innocent members of your family. He has done things that have negatively impacted your job. He has tried to manipulate you and lied to you by omission. When you have appeared on his radio show (improving it immeasurably I might add), he has humiliated you and disrespected you all while trying to be a complete control freak and telling untruths about you. This was all done in the interest of making him appear to be superior. In my opinion he is so low he would need a parachute to exit a snakes belly.

He is clearly madly in love with you, and for that I can’t fault him. However, you have made it entirely clear to him that you don’t see him as a prospective suitor, but that has not stopped him from behaving in a petulant, juvenile and puerile manner. The fact that he is married with children (one of whom is a newborn) seems to be irrelevant to him. When you crushed his amorous desires he staged a mini mid life crisis, bleached his hair then posted pictures of himself with his depressed face on hoping to garner some sympathy. Quite frankly he is pathetic. I know you have forgiven him for his past actions. You are however a better person than I.

I know that the children in your charge benefit from your relationship with him. I also know that you enjoy your time on air with him. I don’t feel in the least bit threatened by him. I just hate the way he treats you. I know you have run rings him around and have swatted him like an over zealous mosquito on more than one occasion. That being said when he described you as being “tainted” because of your relationship with me that was when I decided I could tolerate this imbecile no more. I would not give him the steam off my piss on a cold winter’s morning.

I have often said you can’t help who you fall in love with and I suppose the reverse is also true; you can’t help who falls in love with you. But any guy who describes you as tainted is both a clown and a fool. With a name like Nick I can only assume that his father thought of it when he cut himself shaving. I can only conclude by saying that him having a name synonymous with a gash could not have been more apt.

Taintingly Yours

From Sir With Love


My Sweet Piqued Sir,

I just love you. This topic does make me cringe, but since you feel so inclined I will go along with you.

It is true. My British friend encouraged me to find you again to get closure. He pushed and persuaded me for months. I felt so vulnerable. I was scared because I truly thought you’d never want to hear from me again. He knows how I wrestled with the notion of contacting you. Maybe I disclosed too much to him, but it’s a moot point now.

He had his own agenda, of course. He wanted to be the one who found and contacted you; he said it was to protect me. Obviously he was not the one who found you. He was infuriated to hear that not only did I find you myself, but I also got in touch with you and we started communicating.

I was startled to discover his loathing of you. It seemed so silly. I was astonished to learn that it began over 14 years ago. I met him right after you and I ended. He heard firsthand of my hurt and pain. As you know he hasn’t been very kind in his words and attitude towards you. He hated you, because he was jealous. That surprised me. His exact words are, “He gave up what I want.” He’s said more, but it’s not important.

Things ended badly 14 years ago with him, but not because he and I were an item. It was due to his behavior. When I confronted him about it, he exploded and threatened members of my family. That was a huge no-no. You of course know the story. While I’m not proud of what I did in retaliation, it served a purpose. He paid the price for a couple of years. I can be quite ruthless when pressed. I know that comes as a surprise considering how shy and demure I am (haha). I don’t like the hypocrisy in his thinking that it’s okay for me to forgive him but not you. Lame I know.

He and I also had a stretch when we were not in contact with each other. When he first made an effort to get in touch with me again, it was with a very apologetic email asking for forgiveness. When I met him he was on his first marriage. He was on his second marriage at the time he reconnected with me, and now he is on his third; I will not be number four. I naturally forgave him, but we didn’t become friendly for years. We were acquaintances who emailed once or twice a year.

I have my boundaries set. I am not some territory for him to piss around to try and mark or a possession to be owned. He knows not to cross them, or there will be consequences. I honestly think it was more of a silent contest with you. He is in some weird alpha-male competition with you. Odd I know, but that’s how I see it. He has told me that you were his biggest fear – whatever that means. My favorite thing is when he told me that because you and I had been lovers, I am now tainted. Yeah that was endearing. I am proud to be tainted, Sir. Damn proud.

Bewilderingly yours,


©2014 Darling and Sir

I Believed You

Poem referenced in the letter “In The Blink of an Eye.”

There wasn’t a white horse
But you brought a glass shoe
Fluffy clouds, stars, and dreams
And I believed you

Didn’t need shining armor
Fairy dust – a pinch or two
High-priced colored glasses
And I believed you

The sun and moon were aligned
You played a love song
I thought I could believe you
I found out I was wrong

By Darling ©2013 TSL