Musical Dressing Gown

My Loving Sir,

I mentioned briefly in a previous response the musical dressing gown that you gifted me. I don’t remember the particulars of why you gave it to me, but I do remember you saying that you had a robe that you thought would look fabulous on me. When I tried to give it back, you insisted that I keep it. I think you just liked seeing me in it. Or perhaps you just liked seeing it in a heap on the floor?

The colors in the robe are vibrant and it’s covered in musical instruments – which are totally you. As we’ve stated, music is a common bond that we share, even though you are much more talented in that area. I love the music in you.

I have kept that beautiful robe all this time, though I must confess that for years I hid it away stuffed in a drawer and out of sight. It was just too much of a painful reminder of you – of us. A few years ago, I rescued your dressing gown from its keeping place and it once again holds a position of honor in my closet. I sent you a picture of it recently. You were amazed that the colors have not faded; it is an ideal symbol of us. I love it. Thank you.

Endearingly,

Darling

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My Darling

I remember you in that dressing gown all too well. So let’s just cut to the chase and add the picture that encapsulates you in it.

Blurry Jenn

That photo now appears on my phone. Every time you call me; it’s what I see. It was a Christmas gift from my mother, but it suited you so much better. I felt a little guilty when I told her I no longer owned it, but I knew it had gone to a good home. As for seeing it on you, well lets just say the photo is my second favourite position for the robe. I actually preferred it caressing your ankles in one sudden frenzied movement. Not that it was an image I ever lingered on, there was so much more to see.

I am pleased it has had its place restored in your home and your heart.

It is one of your defining images. I love that you still have it and that it still adorns your body. You say it is an ideal symbol of us and I think you are right. It was hidden away in a wardrobe, it was kept from the light, its existence denied but like our love when allowed back into the sunlight it shone like a beacon and still does. Who knows maybe one day I will get to see it again and you in it (and maybe out of it?).

You Will Always be My Darling

From Sir With Love

©2013 Darling and Sir

I Honestly Love You

Hello My Darling

I did something tonight while you were asleep that made me think of you. Now that in itself is quite the norm. I mean I have this blog, your blog, our chat logs, our photos, your photos, our memories and our songs.

Now when you bed down each evening I normally don my headphones and take a brisk walk around the local golf course. It clears my head and lets me spend an uninterrupted hour just thinking about you. I choose the golf course because it is the most visually appealing part of town. You know I find my current location a little dreary. I have made some excellent friends here but in the way of cultural diversions I find it a little wanting. Anyway tonight I chose no play list at all. I usually choose one that fits the mood, often based on the tone of our last conversation. I was thinking about one of “our” songs. You only recently told me of its meaning, I confess that I’d forgotten and how I’d poisoned it for you. I’m sure I once knew, but my years are catching up with me darling and my memory is not what it used to be.

Anyway I decided to play it. I needed to see how it felt. I know I played it over and over for you. I know I meant every word of it at the time, and I feel I still do. So I suppose I was wondering several things: How did you feel about me doing that? Do you think you could listen to it again without the rancour? And lastly if you think you could, would you listen to it for me and tell me how you feel?

The song you will of course know. Written by Peter Allen and made famous by Olivia Newton John. None other than “I Honestly Love You.”

You Will Always Be My Darling

From Sir With Love

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Lovely Sir,

After reading your letter early this morning, I have pondered on your request all day. I decided to do as you so kindly requested, and I played our old song tonight; I played it many times. I listened to the words, and all the past memories came back with such a force that my heart hurt terribly.  I heard the haunting melody as well as absorbed the meaning and I couldn’t help myself – I wept.  I am not sure what kind of tears they were; I’d like to think cleansing ones, but if I were honest there were bitter and resentful ones mixed in with an aching that was sharp and real.

This song was your anthem to me. I remember watching you play it. My eyes followed your beautiful fingers as they lovingly caressed the piano keys to this tune, then I couldn’t help myself – my eyes were drawn upward to watch your face as you played. You were caught up in the moment of music and love. I was held captive in rapture. I felt what you meant for me to feel. I was in tune to you (sorry for the pun). I ached.

That was taken from me. What was once beautiful withered and died. I abhorred that song when I heard it. I steered clear of it. I turned off the radio if by some slim chance it came on. I couldn’t face reality. Sometimes, as you know, I still can’t; consequently, I am trying. I wonder if I should have refrained from bringing up the subject of this song since you had forgotten, but you have asked me to never hide the truth from you or my feelings. I respect and love you enough to adhere to your wishes.

My hands are even shaking a little as I type this. I know what these words are going to do to your heart as well, and I wish with all my being that I could shield you from yourself.  I am listening to the song as I compose this letter. I am so deeply sorry.

On a positive note (I’d like to end it as such), I feel like I have climbed this ugly mountain. I can see the other side. I like that you played this song again after so many years. I can imagine you playing it, because I had the privilege of seeing that first hand. Thank you for that memory. Hopefully all the bad will be replaced by good. This is such a new road to walk on. Thank you for walking it with me. I honestly love you.

Achingly yours,

Darling

 

©2013 Darling and Sir