The Wallaby Whisperer

My Mesmerising Darling

Your encounters with our wildlife at the zoo were not just confined to our freaky spider webs. You saw some of our other native animals as well.

We went to the koala feeding and got there right at the very end. I remember the keeper being incredibly short with us and me having trouble controlling my caustic tongue. The koalas were a bit of a disappointment (as they often are). They were just sitting in the tree munching on their eucalyptus leaves, essentially just being a far prettier version of a three toed sloth.  

We saw the kangaroos. They weren’t looking in the least bit majestic. They were just laying around instead of being in full stride bounding across the open plains, and they were dozing under the shade of some far off trees. We went to the wombat enclosure, but as they are nocturnal creatures I think we saw a furry butt and that was about it.

You did have some luck with a wallaby though. Obviously the wallaby in question was pretty tame. He was just hoping around. Many of the sightseers were really excited to see him. They tried to pet him. They tried to feed him and then they tried to take photographs of him. He ignored them all. Who did he head to? Well you know the answer. He became your best friend. You picked up some fallen leaves and quite literally you had him eating out of the palm of your hand.

So there you are in all your American glory wearing my baseball cap, tormenting the tourists, and feeding our wildlife.

The wallaby is not the only creature you have eating out of the palm of your hand. You know I do also.

You Will Always Be My Darling

From Sir With Love

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My Dear Native Sir,

The best part of the zoo, my beloved, was spending the day with you. I just want that clear.

The koalas were cute, and they acted like they knew it as they looked at us from their lofty perch. Isn’t that the Australian way? (I’m smirking here.) I had forgotten how the zoo employee wasn’t very pleasant. That understandably doesn’t sit well with you.

I remember many tourists and zoo goers couldn’t get the wallabies to come near them for a picture. We watched the confusion for a few moments, and then I reached down and logically grabbed some of the same leaves that the wallabies were eating. The others weren’t using the correct leaves. I thought it was funny.

One brave wallaby decided he liked what I was presenting him as a peace offering. Just behind me and out of the picture were many camera wielding people snapping photographs to their heart’s content.

When the wallaby and I were done making each other’s acquaintances, I glanced up at you. You were standing there smiling at me. You had such a look of serenity on your features; that look is ingrained in my memory.

Calmly yours,

Darling

©2014 Darling and Sir

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Web of Fear

My Arachnophobic Darling

We have discussed some of your encounters with the local wildlife here in the land of Oz. Sadly you didn’t have much luck when it came to seeing our native fauna in their natural habitat. The initial plan was to take you to a wildlife park where you could see our animals in a more realistic setting. Time was our enemy so we settled on the zoo. It was by no means a poor second choice. Sydney’s Taronga Zoo is an amazing place. It is nestled in a truly spectacular setting. There is something quite surreal in seeing a giraffe in the flesh with the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge as the backdrop.

So we went to the zoo. We saw the cute koalas and the sea lions, the elephants, the tigers, the wombats; all the cool stuff. We did manage to see some of our wildlife in their natural habitat even at the zoo though. We have plenty of them, and they live almost anywhere. I am speaking no less than of our local spiders.

Now I don’t claim to know what type of spider it was. My memory and my entomological ability are just not good enough. Suffice it to say that spiders are nearly in every tree here. Many of them spin very cool webs. I just looked it up online and the last known death as a result of a spider bite in this country was in 1976. That doesn’t mean however that they don’t strike fear into the hearts of many of the visitors to these shores. If you leave them alone, they normally leave you alone. If you disturb their home they tend to get a little more agitated, no doubt you’d do the same.

What can I say? I pointed out an awesome looking spider’s web in the trees above us, and you spent the rest of the time at the zoo looking up. You surgically attached yourself to my side (I was not complaining), and if I’d known it would have such an effect then I would have shown them to you much earlier.

The wildlife was out to get you my Darling and I would be your saviour. Now there’s a job I could really sink my teeth into. It was you who spun the web my Darling and I the willing victim.

You Will Always Be My Darling

From Sir With Love

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My Valiant Sir,

I was so excited to go to Taronga Zoo with you. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Didn’t we ride ferry to the zoo?

I loved seeing the animals, and especially the wallaby (more on that later). I was disappointed in the kangaroos though. They were just lying around and not doing anything. I would have loved to have seen them in the wild. I enjoyed the koalas and I believe we even saw an echidna and Tasmania Devil.

I had read about the Australian Funnel Spider, and I had completely psyched myself out over them. I was on the lookout for them whenever we got into any lush places. I felt safe at the zoo until you nonchalantly pointed out all the webs in the trees. They weren’t little webs, my dear. They were massive webs that covered the whole tops of the trees, and I was picturing the giant spiders that created them. I was expecting one to plunge down out of the sky onto my head. I wondered if spider poop would drop out of the trees onto unsuspecting victims as well.

You kept telling me that I was going to get a sore neck if I didn’t look down once in a while. I just wanted to be prepared to whack a spider, and yes you did not complain that I super glued myself to your side yet again. We didn’t need a web to be attached to one another; it just felt right.

Frantically yours,

Darling

©2014 Darling and Sir