My Dear Expert Sir,
We spoke on the phone today, and you got on your soap box for a few moments. You were relentless in making sure I was doing things I needed to do i.e. healthy diet, exercise, get enough sleep, etc.
Now before you scoff, your questioning was very endearing and showed me that you truly cared. Now me being me, I made a smart ass comeback about you being a Sir-ologist in the art of Sir-ology. You laughed and remarked that you liked that title and subject area. You are a connoisseur in all things Sir-ness.
Now my Sir, if truth be known I am quite a proficient when it comes to the knowledge of you. I know you quite well love, and perhaps even a little bit better than you know yourself. So welcome to Darling-ville. Put your feet up, relax, and stay a while. I shall make you that cup of tea I do so well.
I love you very much.
Adoringly yours,
Dr. Darling
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Dear Agnes (We both know its not your name but if you insist on me writing this type of letter I could not think of a better bon mot)
I am somewhat surprised that you chose to mention your frustratingly obvious failings when it comes to looking after your own well being. It vexes me to no end when I hear you put yourself last and the repeated times it has happened. I will willingly ascend the soapbox yet again, and do so now to ensure you pay heed to my concerns and start looking after yourself.
We now know, after extensive testing of your allergies, the adverse impact some of the products you consume have had on your life. We now know that you need to transition these things out of your life as it’s the best possible treatment for your condition. But what do you do? Let me ask again. WHAT DO YOU DO? You tell me that you are too busy to deal with it right now and that you will put other life events before your own. Yet again.
Let me say here in a manner that brokers no confusion. I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. If you think I am not a man of action I dare you to test me on this. My passport is ready and my wallet is willing. If you won’t allow me to look after you from here (you know I have told you to send me the literature I will read it and have shipped to you the things you need to start using). Then I will jump on a plane and do it in person. I even urge you to call my bluff because as you know my love I just don’t blink.
That being said I am more than happy to settle in Darlingville. I would love to try its tea shrine and sample its wares. As for putting up my feet and relaxing, well that will happen when you start looking after yourself instead of just talking about it.
Allergically Yours
Professor Sir With Love
©2014 Darling and Sir
The Sir Letters 
Oh god! This sounds like every conversation I have with Mr. Wannabe Sir (Is there another word for sir? Sir on training wheels? Apprentice Sir?) I feel both your pain and to be fair, you never listen to darling when she tells you to take it easy! 😀 Before you get on the “whose side are you on” bandwagon, I am a coin, I have two sides to share, equally. BIG HUGS!
You make me laugh Cupi.
I just found out that I have a contact allergy of something that is in EVERYTHING. I kid you not. It’s a bit overwhelming to figure out what it is in and what’s okay to use.
Sir on training wheels? Haha. Love that analogy. How about Sir with big boy pants on?
Hugs back.
~ Darling
p.s. Sir listens to me?!?! Since when?
Oh god, you too? I’ve had to pretty much cut everything off and then realised, I’m allergic to my phone. MY PHONE! Groan! Is it your fingers that are affected? Hope you feel well soon. He listens to you, erm, literally. That’s all 😀
I more than just listen to my Darling. Some would say I have no choice. That I consider her words carefully is not in dispute but Cupi you are being a little harsh (and taking sides), I do far more than just pay my Darling’s words lip service.
Regards
Sir
*Pinches you.”
~ D
Hi Cupi
I will not make you defend a corner here. Suffice it to say that I do listen to my Darling but I tend not to respond in the timely manner she thinks I may need.
As for my Darling’s actions. Sitting in my email is a list of things she can and cannot use. I will go through them with her next time we speak (in a little under 30 minutes) and I will ship to her the items she requires. Then follow up that she is using them.
I know I sound like a control freak, I am not. Its just the only way to ensure that she looks after herself. Having found her again I will not let her fall apart at the seams before we even lay eyes on one another again.
Regards
Sir
🙂
Made me smile.
BP
Smiling is contagious. Keep it up.
~ Darling
Hi BP
Its always good to smile
Regards
Sir
Good job Sir – take care of her….. Darling (my husband has a hard time listening to me about certain holistic things he should be taking) listen to Sir – not out of the old “obedience” thing but simply because he loves and longs to care for you. Care-ingly yours, Mom – oh, I mean cate
I know he truly loves and cares for me. The trouble is when he gets that steely look in his eyes and his voice takes on that hard edge, I find it not in the least bit threatening and a whole lot of other things much to his frustration. He’s used to people responding “how high?” when he says jump. I just say “kiss me.” Heh.
It’s a lanolin allergy. LANOLIN! Good grief. After all these years, my mom now knows why she could never use store bought diapers on me. It’s in soaps, detergents, lotions, potions, makeup, creams, EVERY-DAMN-THING. For crying out loud.
I shall call thee My Other Mom.
Thanks M.O.M.
~ D
hahaha —– lanolin. That’s a bummer. Thank goodness for all the new natural stuff out there. Now to find the right ones.
AND he called me Agnes. AGNESS!!! What the hey!
yeah, Agnes is wrong, just plain wrong.
Hi Cate
She pretends that she wont listen but I wear her down with my insistence and monotony. She is right though, she doesn’t jump on command.
Regards
Sir
😀
Dang your hide. I just busted up laughing so loudly they heard me in the hallway.
Love you BRAT!
~ D
Love you too My Darling. Pleased I can still make you laugh.
Regards
Sir