How Long Will I Love You?

Dear Sir,

I love you.

Always,

Darling

©2014  Darling and Sir

 

Lyrics

How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I can
How long will I need you
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash up on the sand

How long will I want you
As long as you want me to
And longer by far
How long will I hold you
As long as your father told you
As long as you can

How long will I give to you
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may

How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you

Darling Speaks Funny and Sir is Rewarded (Part 2)

My Dear Satiable Sir,

As stated in a previous letter, I ordered an appetizer in my ‘Ah-mer-i-cun’ speak. My scallops morphed into a salad much to my confusion. In order to rectify the situation, I was brought a salad and scallops (I was full before we even had our entrée).

As I was tasting the scrumptious scallops, I bit upon something hard. I spat it out and inspected the offensive object. You took it from me and also gave it your thorough attention. It appeared to be a small piece of plastic. You called the waiter over, and added to his embarrassment after the appetizer kerfuffle by showing him the piece of plastic that was in my dish of scallops.

As an apology, the waiter brought over a very nice glass of port after our meal. As a non-alcoholic drinker, I laughed at the irony. I took a small sip of port just to say I did then I pushed the glass over your way. You took one for the team and happily consumed the conciliatory glass of hootch. That’s my stalwart Sir.

I love you dearly and most sincerely.

Always refined,

Darling

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My Over Egged Darling

Yes you did get it all when it came to entrees at that particular establishment, both salad and scallops. But let’s be honest you were always a “have your cake and eat it too” kind of girl.

The scallops were scrumdiddlyumptious as I recall. Looking back at it now I think the piece of plastic may have actually been one of the chemical “rocks” they add to hydroponically grown vegetables. I may very well be wrong but it seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation for how it got there. Regardless, it most certainly did not belong anywhere in your meal. 

As for the tasty glass of fortified wine proffered by way of apology, it really did seem the least they could. I’m not sure I would have been able to stop at one though. I have always been a “nothing exceeds like excess” kind of guy. 

Imbibingly Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014  Darling and Sir

Toe-May-Toe or Toe-Mah-Toe

My Dear Verbose Sir,

Apparently I talk funny my love.

Once when we dined out, I ordered scallops,  in my damn Yankee speak, as an hors d’oeuvre. The waiter brought us our appetizers and placed a salad before me. He noticed the confusion on my face and asked if the salad wasn’t to my liking. I told him the salad looked great, but it wasn’t what I ordered. You informed him that I had ordered scallops in your proper Australian accent. The waiter sheepishly stated that he thought I said ‘salad.’ I suppose it was easier for him to guess what I said instead of asking for clarification from the Australian man sitting across from me. Or maybe it was a pride thing?

You thought it was hysterical. We both laughed, and it’s a great memory for us now. This wasn’t the only faux pas that happened to us during our many dining experiences, but I will save them for another letter. Suffice it to say I still like scallops and salad. I’m versatile that way.

Hungrily yours,

Darling

This is not a salad.

This is not a salad.

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My Ravenous Darling

You have nothing like a damn Yankee accent. In fact I would be hard pressed to establish what region you hail from based on your accent alone. I am sure your speech patterns have a very proper name, something like “North American uninflected” or other such guff. I have no idea what it’s really called but it is certainly not southern and definitely not Yankee.

I fear the problem came when you said out loud “scallops.” Here in Australia it is pronounced with a soft “a” whereas your pronunciation was much harder. Therefore to his tender ears it would have sounded like “scallops” with the “cal” part sounding the same as it would in “California,” whereas here in Australia the “a” is pronounced as an “o.” The “cal” sounds the same as it would in “collar.” Therefore to represent it phonetically it would read “scollops.” To his delicate hearing it sounded closer to “salad” than “scallops.”

Clearly you had an issue with seafood while you were here my love. Between the oysters and the scallops our culinary world was rising up against you. I know you prevailed, however you even lived to tell the tale.

Epicureaningly Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014  Darling and Sir

Beneath Your Beautiful

Another exquisite song that touches us deeply. We love sharing music with each other and connecting on a deeper level.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful
Would you let me see beneath your perfect…….

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?
Tonight, see beneath your beautiful
Oh tonight, we ain’t perfect, we ain’t perfect
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

We see beneath your beautiful too.

Love,

Darling and Sir

Porn Star Name

Dear Heroic Sir,

I just wanted to write briefly to let you know how proud I am of you. I have always been aware of your many talents, and you have numerous ones both personally and professionally. I love that you’re an educated man.

I know you’re presently under a lot of stress trying to save a company. It’s what you do. It’s what you’re good at. That’s why you’re a wanted man. You’re a shrewd businessman, but you’re also honest. I admire your professional integrity.

Remember that I support and love you unconditionally. I told you that I would make you a cape, but only if you wear it alone with nothing else. Just for me.

Adroitly yours,

Darling

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My Flattering Darling

You do me a great kindness with your words. I think you give me more credit that I deserve, but that only serves to make me love you more.

My new job has been sheer madness. As you know I took a position on a board to help save a company. After a little bright scrutiny, its CEO abruptly resigned. Amongst much accusation and acrimony I took on his job. It was both unexpected and unplanned. The place is a financial mess that needs remedial care and attention. I have taken some bold steps to either trade it out of the quagmire it is in or merge it with a larger competitor. It devours my time and attention.

As for the cape, well I appreciate your faith in my abilities. Time will tell if it is well founded. I will wear a cape and nothing more if that’s what you desire. I think (insert a self mocking tone at this point) I will need a “super hero” name however. I remember playing a game with friends where you take the name of your first pet and the name of the first street you lived in, joined them together and that became your “porn star name.”  Mine became Monty Excelsior and I can see that on the opening credits even now.

I think maybe for your “super hero name” you should use your favourite colour then your favourite weapon. Making my super hero name “The Purple Magnum”. What do you think?

Comically Yours

From Sir With Love

©2014 Darling and Sir